Red vs. Blue!

28 08 2011

After a summer of upheaval and turbulence, the four intrepid crusaders of Brake for Frogger gather together, have a thinking session, write a few things down and then come up with Episode 2.8.

This one is probably the closest we’ve got to how we want Brake for Frogger to be which basically means we’ve broken up the bits of us talking with all kinds of random sections.

In this month’s episode:

‘Whatcha Playing?’ this month features Tom’s Minecraft Pocket sessions, Euan’s wander in Bastion, Cam’s Patrick Stewart impression and Al’s washing machine. The Random Topic Generator takes a Stalinist turn and Alan’s Retro Games Emporium features added Nurse Gladys Emmanuel thanks to EvilNinjaPhil of Sonic’s Ring fame.

Added to this, Lexie turns her attention to Left4Dead 2 and demands wet wipes as a result, the Co-Op Shop has an awkward customer in the shape of GLaDOS,  the debut of Secret Salmon, the return of the Rev, the solo review gets godly in From Dust and we even end with a trailer for next month. Organised to the max. this month.

Enjoy, comment, retweet, shout about us from the rooftops!:

Brake for Frogger – Season 2, Episode 8 – Red vs. Blue

Listening methods are as usual:

- Stream from the small media player above;

- Click this here link (if you have Quicktime or Windows Media Player installed) to stream the podcast;

- Right-click the above link, and click the dialog that says “Save target as…”, “Save link as…” or something similar (dependent on your browser) to download the .mp3 file to your computer in order to use it on your iPods or other personal mp3 players.

- From season one, episode two onwards, we’ve also been on iTunes. You can find us by running a search for ‘Brake For Frogger’ in the iTunes Store, and clicking subscribe…





Home-cooking with… Ken Block?!

11 08 2011

Episode 2.7 of Brake For Frogger was actually discovered caked in dust at the back of a shelf somewhere (possibly due to being underpowered and having a lack of third party support). At last, after plenty of delays and various setbacks we’re back again.

In this month’s episode:

This episode starts with a fan e-mail, the ‘What You Been Playing’ section covers Tom’s near addiction to MMORPG Rift, Cam’s raiding of the second hand section, Euan’s sweary shooting time with Bulletstorm and Alan gritting his teeth over Trials HD. We also have a half hearted attempt at a news section which doesn’t end well. Curzon and Marwood finally get their Co-Op Shop back up and running (sorry for leaving it so long boys, back regular now yeah?) and Alan opens his Retro Games Emporium with the words ‘Yipeekiay!’.

Enjoy!:

Brake for Frogger – Season 2, Episode 7 – Home-cooking with Ken Block

Listening methods are as usual:

- Stream from the small media player above;

- Click this here link (if you have Quicktime or Windows Media Player installed) to stream the podcast;

- Right-click the above link, and click the dialog that says “Save target as…”, “Save link as…” or something similar (dependent on your browser) to download the .mp3 file to your computer in order to use it on your iPods or other personal mp3 players.

- From season one, episode two onwards, we’ve also been on iTunes. You can find us by running a search for ‘Brake For Frogger’ in the iTunes Store, and clicking subscribe…





Somewhere In The Valleys

7 08 2011

Episode 2.7 was recorded over two weeks ago now and has yet to hit any of the usual outlet. Various complications mean that the files are down in Wales on Tom’s computer and he is unable to do the edit. Therefore we’re currently in the process of transferring them back up here to Gretna so I can get the edit done in the next couple of days. It might not be pretty but at least it’ll get done.

There has been something of a summer lull with Brake For Frogger. The May Gaming Hell episode was fun to do but the ‘specials’ never feel quite as complete as the regular episodes being as it’s simply us playing stuff whilst leaving the mics running in the background. I’m already getting some new ideas running for 2.8 onwards so we can regain some lost momentum and end Season 2 on a high possibly with the Christmas Special we voted against last year. Some of it might work, some of it won’t be we’ll try regardless. I’ve always tried to shape Brake For Frogger into something that improves on itself, it’s lost its way recently.

Stay with us, normal service will hopefully be resumed when we record 2.8 on the 25th of August.

Cameron





Infamous 2 — PS3

28 07 2011

So we’re heavily into the summer lull, E3 has announced a plethora of exciting new titles for us to save our shiny pennies for come the winter, but at the moment we should be outside, in the sunshine…so they say. See; now I’ve tried this and all I ended up with was sunburn and the lingering smell of tramp, they can smell fear dontcha know? I assumed the summer would be spent hiding my pastey skin from Apollo’s Lantern, waiting for the leaves to change when, like the bus you’ve waited too long for, along came two games at once. One has you playing the peoples hero, one has you playing the villain your mother always hoped you wouldn’t become (But always secretly knew you would – it was what you did to that frog see…You should be ashamed), it just happens to be that both of them are on the same disk.

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I’m referring, quite vaguely, to Infamous 2. The follow up to Sucker Punch’s original 2009 PS3 exclusive which followed the story of Cole MacGrath, a bicycle courier who one day was given a normal looking package to deliver that had some, quite frankly, shocking contents (Sorry). What the package included was a device called the Ray Sphere which, if detonated around a conduit (a person susceptible to such things), would give that person super hero like powers…not completely cool however as it kills anyone else who isn’t. Lucky for Cole that he was susceptible…or was it luck? (You’ll just have to play to find out.)

He wakes up in the middle of a crater with some gnarly superhero like electric powers and an entire city of really pissed off people. He looks like a terrorist that just killed a whopping chunk of the population, so understandably he isn’t Empire Cities golden boy at that moment. This is where you come in – do you go out of your way to prove the inhabitants wrong by being the bestest superhero you can be by tearing the nasties that have been created in the blast a new one? Or do you use your new found abilities to show them that not only are you a bastard, but you’re a bastard that they will all bow down to or die.

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Now, if you’ve made your choice in the first game you can, upon starting Infamous 2, chose to follow on that decision or start afresh. But either way starts with you battling an enormous, city destroying beast called…uh, ‘the beast’ – talk about hitting the ground running. This monstrosity was hinted at in the first outing but now its right in your face from the very first moments and the rest of the game follows Cole trying his best to become powerful enough in the new city of ‘New Marias’ by absorbing blast cores to be able to take The Beast on and win.

To pigeonhole Infamous would be to call it sandbox, its open world, theres missions dotted about and you progress by completing these missions and opening up more of the map. So, similar to GTA I hear you ask. Well, no, not in the style, or the content – Cole is slightly more athletic than our Nico – cars are not the name of the game. For his travelling needs Cole shares more with Ubisoft’s hooded menace Ezio – its parkour, but easier. Now this was one of the first minor faults I found with the first game. Assassins creed (even the flawed original outing) was a joy to run around in, both assassins had weight and momentum and flowed like mercury around their respective locales. Cole on the other hand was showy, but just a bit naff. Thankfully this has been addressed and then some in the newest outing, and though it still doesn’t have the greased up, cat like, fluidity that I would like when it comes to the scaling of buildings, it certainly feels far more enjoyable than before.

And that’s the biggest thing that Infamous 2 needed – a fun factor. Let’s face it, any geek/nerd/whatever has at some point thought about how cool it would be to become a superhero, whether it was twenty years ago or last Thursday we’ve had those ideas – and at no point was it a boring slog. Whether you wanted to dish out the vengeance on those that had wronged you (let it go, you’ll feel better) or just wanted the perks that came with invisibility (We all know why you wanted those. Again, you should be ashamed), it was always a riot and that’s what Infamous needed to feel like – and it does. The improved static thrusters (read, flight), the explosive thunder drop, summoning tornadoes of simply biblical proportions, it’s all an absolute pleasure. You feel powerful, even the recharge ability, actioned by draining lamp posts/electric generators/cars etc. of their power is fantastic. Suckerpunch have even found quite a believable way of opening these powers up even more by allowing you to share other conduits abilities while in their presence. I’m not going to spoil this too much but suddenly having access to ice based tricks instantly rekindles all the excitement felt when first finding out what Cole is capable of. Even when these companions aren’t around Cole is still constantly evolving his own powers through experience gained so there’s never a chance to get completely bored with what you’ve got.

Another vast improvement is the melee combat, previously Cole relied very heavily on his more ranged attacked (little bolts of lighting, electric grenades, shock push etc), but when it got up close and personal it was a little lacklustre. This time you have the addition of ‘The Amp’, a large, electric based, tuning fork looking device that Cole swings like a club as well as some more acrobatic kicks and strikes – its all a little bit ‘Arkham Asylum’ in its execution with special moves becoming available after successful chained attacks – its another improvement that definitely adds to the experience, however, whomever developed the camera position for these special moves, and even the normal melee attacks for that matter, needs their head read. I have, once or twice, actually had the camera pass through Cole as he was pulling off a, probably, very impressive backflip kick thing…I wouldn’t know, I missed it! A small thing as the majority of the combat is still ranged, and it happening at all is rare, but still an annoyance.

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But for me, the single biggest, and most important factor that has changed between this game and the first is that I now give a damn about Cole, or any one else in the story for that matter. Cole is a perfect example of insta-protagonist, he’s white, tattooed, American, shaven headed and reasonably buff…now there’s original – but what made it worse was that Dark Knight Bale voice – theres gravelly, but this was like Cole had chewed his way out through the rubble he’d found himself in. And this poor character development wasn’t just limited to Cole, his ‘best friend’ Zeke was a hillbilly idiot by numbers and his girlfriend Trish was a heartless bitch (and that was even when your karma was good!). I had no attachment to any of them. But from the moment Cole stepped off the boat in New Marias he seemed like a changed man, not only had the voice vastly improved (its still gruff but to a far more acceptable standard, owing to the developers choice to change voice talent), but by golly, within minutes he’d even quipped…and had made me laugh! That an arrow straight to my heart right there. The new love interests, Lucy Kuo and Nix, are a million times more likeable than Trish, with just the right amount of witty sarcasm and frailty that made me want to protect them. Even Zeke was far less of a dick in this outing. It actually feels like the whole team have been introduced to, and spent an awful lot of time with, Nathan Drake and Co. (There’s actually a nod to the Naughty Dog series on a XXX theatre in the seedy part of town, along with a few other gaming references, so maybe there has been some leaf taking), however they’ve done it doesn’t matter, it works.

The whole thing is vastly more polished too, the enemies are more varied, the boss battles are inventive, the side missions aren’t all ‘scale this building and shoot off microphones’, it actually seems like an awful lot of thought has gone into making them varied and original – I wasn’t just doing them because I had to, I was doing them because I wanted to.

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So am I going to tell you to drop what you’re doing and run out to buy this now? Well yes, yes I am. But wait just a moment, because one thing I have to touch on is quite disappointing. I don’t want to because I felt this was a fantastic leap forwards for a franchise but, even the box is lying to you. The accompanying line to Infamous 2 is ‘you decide’ – a reference to you choosing whether to play the hero, or the villain. Now this is accomplished by rewarding you for heroic actions or punishing you for villainous ones, the resulting points having an effect on your karma and therefore the powers that you have access to. There are even karma specific missions where you can approach a task like a hero or blow everything up. What is a gargantuan let down however is that it doesn’t matter which you chose, it will follow a very similar path. It alters the journey, but not the destination and that’s really upsetting. Negative Karma does affect Cole’s appearance and some of the dialogue between him and other characters but it could have offered a totally different adventure and it doesn’t, which is a real shame. Don’t get me wrong, the choices you make towards the games conclusion will give you totally different ending, both of which are excellent in their own way, it’s just a shame that the start of the game is so similar whichever way you decide to go – it makes restarting the game to see the alternate version a bit of an uphill struggle.

So, in conclusion, is infamous 2 worth it? Oh yes, most definitely, easy one. Not since Assassins Creed do I feel a franchise has improved so much between the original and its follow on. I think it would have made a great game a brilliant game had there been a little more responsibility in your actions early on, but even that can’t tarnish just how much I enjoyed playing this. Ok, maybe you don’t get two games on one disk – but you do get one fantastic game. Going back to my earlier comparison (We’re supposed to do that see, gives a sense of closure), it really doesn’t matter that both of those buses turned up at once, neither does it matter that they will travel almost exactly the same route, what matters is what awaits you at your journeys end and whichever bus you get on, I promise you, it’ll be electrifying.





L.A Noire (360, PS3)

17 07 2011

I’ve been wanting to write this weeks ago, I wanted to tell you about how great L.A Noire’s depiction of 1940′s L.A actually was and how well the interview sequences were but something stopped me. I’d been around the block a few times and I’d seen the same old story time and time over. New game fixation sets in and you find yourself suckered before you know it. It’s like looking across the room at that broad and knowing that, no matter how much you want her, she’ll only lead to trouble in the end. I had to finish the whole case and collect all the evidence before writing to you because not all of L.A Noire’s pieces seem to fit the puzzle.

L.A Noire completes Rockstar’s crime u-turn as they’ve gone from the all out criminal activity of Grand Theft Auto to the ‘bad guy going straight’ drama of Red Dead Redemption and now to the police departments of L.A. You’d probably expect an open city, full of cases you could start at will that would end with you mowing down criminals in your car. If you did then you’d be very wrong as the game takes a whole different idea. In spirit L.A Noire is much closer to old point and click games you used to play on the PC as you comb through a crime scene looking for clues before using that evidence in interrogations to determine who the guilty party was. L.A Noire’s entire premise is seperating the truth from the lies and coming to some kind of conclusion.

Those lies needed some new technology behind them and it became L.A Noire’s biggest selling point in the run up to release. Motion scanning means that each nervous muscle twitch and poker face is evident not through computer animation but through human performance. L.A Noire is the first game in which an actor’s performance can come across fully, not just as a voice placed upon programming. If this part of the game had failed then the whole thing would have come tumbling down so it’s good news that it works extremely well as far as presentation goes. It’s strange to play a game that involves your basic human reaction to detecting lies so much and interrogations often become tense situations.

Yes, that is indeed Matt from Heroes.

Whilst sorted graphically the interrogations have a rather strange flaw in them. Your choices when faced with a suspect’s evidence are bookended by ‘Truth’ or ‘Lie’  which are simple in execution but the middle ground of ‘Doubt’ is where the game hits upon some trouble. You would imagine that doubt would be used if you want Phelps to coax more information out of a suspect because you may not have the evidence to back up your initial hunch. This proves not to be the case as the doubt option is incredibly fickle, sometimes resulting in Phelps screaming his head off about getting them up in front of the Grand Jury. This end up in another lead or it can equally result in a suspect clamming up and shutting down all lines of communication. It’s an annoyance that could have been easily sorted by having some level of consistency or removing the option all together.

Not that it’s a gamebreaking flaw as L.A Noire goes to great measures to make sure you see it to the end. Should your line of questioning mean that a suspect will not reveal a piece of information that is required to continue then your partner will simply suggest you tail them until they take you wherever they were going to end up anyway. Failing an action sequence more than three times in a row will bring up an option to skip it all together and carry on as normal. Each crime scene is also undercut by soft jazz which loses an instrument with each item of evidence found, if you suddenly find yourself wading through the debris of a back alley murder and it all goes quiet then it’s probably time to leave. Essentially, L.A Noire wants you to get to the end and see what becomes of the characters. It’s not a hard game by any stretch.

The L.A Noire Men's Fashion shoot in full swing.

It’s a good job you do get to see that story though as it’s probably one of the best ones that video gaming has had to offer in recent times. This might not be for actual content of the plot but more for the places it dares to go. L.A Noire isn’t afraid to get serious with characters and events. There are moments in the game that are truly gruesome and you wait for the usual small kick of humour that will ease the notion of what you’re investigating, it never comes. L.A Noire has a whole cast of differing characters, some of whom form the lowest of low humanity. Some other games would treat this with a mocking tone in an attempt to shield the player from the serious nature of the story but it’s to L.A Noire’s credit that it plays it straight.

During moments like this, when L.A Noire is brave enough to plough its own, then it hits new heights. Sadly, the more ‘gamelike’ it becomes the more the cracks begin to show. The cover system is horrible as Phelps seems to superglue himself to the nearest wall and stay there regardless. The side missions in which you deal with street criminals always seem to end with you having no other option than shooting them dead in the street. Driving is also twitchy and gains you nothing so it’s much easier and quicker to let your partner drive meaning to arrive at your next scene straight away rather than have to deal with L.A’s traffic system. There’s also the problem that, despite the dialogue and characters leading up to it, each chapter of the game seems to end with a cover based shoot out section chasing the main perpetrator.

Team Bondi have concentrated on certain sections of L.A Noire in order for it to reach the bracket of ‘interactive fiction’ and it’s obvious that getting the facial scanning correct was top of the list during development. Whilst this is truly the case it does appear that other parts were left until the last minute and are rendered a gaming cliche as a result. The game climbs many highs over its 10 or so hours duration but the rough edges soon show themselves. It might not ruin the experience completely but it stops the game from reaching the upper levels of class that Rockstar’s previous releases have obtained. L.A Noire remains a decent enough game but it’s far more a demonstration of what might be possible in the future than a modern classic of today.





Shadows of the Damned (Xbox 360, PS3)

8 07 2011

A Suda 51 Trip

From Grasshopper Manufacture, the studio that brought us twisted, dirty gems Killer 7 and No More Heroes, comes it’s latest opus.   The surreal, crude, violent, deathly funny and absolutely brilliant “Shadows of the Damned”.  A road trip into the deepest pits of Hell itself.

The collaborative brain-gasm of the enigmatic Suda 51, principle director and creative genius behind No More Heroes and Killer7, and Shinji Mikami, who fathered the Resident Evil franchise, Viewtiful Joe and last years outstanding Vanquish.  Between them, these two men have very tasty titles to their names.  So, with that credibility, what were we to expect but another engrossing, challenging and darkly humorous title.  On the surface,  SoD is very much akin to Resident Evil4, though it is altogether a much darker, more perverse experience.

Garcia Hotspur and his Johnson...

You play Garcia Hotspur.  A demon hunter from Mexico who has killed so many that the Demon who runs The Underworld, Fleming, takes a severe disliking to our anti-hero.  So much so that G’s beautiful girlfriend, Paula, is murdered and then kidnapped(yes, murdered and THEN kidnapped) by Fleming so that she can be brought back to life and killed over and over again.  Armed with only his Johnson, a kind of floaty, flaming, good demon skull that can transform into multiple weapons and devices such as a Torch, pistol(known in-game as a Boner) or a motorcycle, Garcia leaps into the portal to Hell, head first after his stolen love.  One man’s journey into the belly of the beast (quite literally) to save the woman he loves.

Creepy and genuinely grotesque demons populate this underworld. Genius.

A simple story it seems, but GhM never show all their cards.   They tease and trick you into making mistakes and training you to be wary of treasures or sweet spots.  It can be infuriating on times.  But it’s always bearable because you need to see how the tale ends.

Garcia is a likable hero.  Though not at all white knight,  G kills Demons because he simply “loves killing ****ing Demons”, he’s the every-super-man. Fearless, resourceful and a likable tough guy, gravelly, groggy and full of demon hate.  Though it’s his companion, Johnson, that really steals the show.  As I have already touched upon Johnson(cough), He is Garcia’s tool… umm… he’s his weapon… hmmm?!  You know what I’m trying to say, right?

QUICK!! Stomp on that demon!!

Innuendo bingo aside, when needed Johnson is, among other things, a Shotgun, Pistol, Torchlight, Grenade Launcher, Club, Wrench and Machine Gun.  He’s also a wonderful character in his own right.  Clearly British, funny, rude, and full of cheeky charm.  It really is a pleasure to get to grips with Johnson.

Gameplay is very much staple third person action horror.  Garcia can dodge incoming attacks from varied, grotesque demons by pushing the control stick in the desired direction and pressing “A”. Triggers are for aiming and firing, “R + L bumpers”  are for “light shots” and “health drinks” respectively. “B” is melee, which can also be charged to smash foes to pieces, “X” is action or reload while in combat, and holding “Y” plus D-pad selects one of 3 kinds of health booze. Apparently, booze is good for you in Hell.   All of Johnson’s weapon functions are selected quickfire via the d-pad.

The underworld is a very dark place,  and as such the Darkness itself is corrosive to flesh, Garcia’s especially.  At this point I should explain about the Light Shot and it’s effect.  There are moments in game where you will have to maneuver G through areas of darkness that gradually sap health until death.  The solution to these patches, mostly, are that you need to find and illuminate Goat Lamps with the Light Shot.  These puzzle sections are often straight forward but never dull and there are some challenging areas of darkness later in game that will really test you.  The Darkness also brings with it the Dark demon.

These demons are the usual fare, though they have a skin of darkness that nullifies your attacks.  You’ll need to disperse it with a Johnson bash or light shot before continuing to punish the damned.  Used on a normal demon however stuns them for a short period of time, allowing you to punish with a brutal finisher!  Happy days!  There’s also a counter attack for enemies approaching G from behind, flagged by a flashing “B”, press it in time and watch G smash a demon in the face with his Johnson! Uhhh… moving on.  Chaining these attacks in combat is amazingly satisfying.

This boss is amazing...

Standard collectibles such as red, white and blue gems all give bonuses of upgrades to weapons, health, and strength are dropped, looted or found just laying around the underworld.

The sound is of outstanding quality, faultless really.  Music, sound effects, voice acting are all top rate quality.  Distant screams from victims creep you out as you wander around darkened graveyards.  G’s leather jacket and trousers squeak and stretch as he runs and swings his weapon.  The score is also of note as a tonal shifter from light humour to thumping, smashing horror in a heartbeat. Excellent.

Minor negatives are that there is no option to start a new game+  once completed.  The other is that occasionally your aim thrown off because Garcia tracks left?!  Very strange, though it doesn’t happen often.

I've not said much about how beautiful Shadows is... It's very pretty.

Shadows of the Damned is one Hell of a strange, dirty, grubby, beautiful, funny, perverted, clever game with some of the most inventive puzzles and bosses I’ve had the pleasure of pulling my hair out over.  It’s flawed, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying the most compelling title out this year.

Like it says on the back of the box, One HELL of a TRIP.  Genius.





Macho Men!

29 06 2011

As is usual when the team is without Tom ;) Heels get dragged a bit and eventually the show goes up!

In this month’s episode!:

A strange rudderless show this month as we’re without Tom who usually does all the technical stuff. Battling on regardless are Euan, Alan and Cam as they get their heads around a double session of ‘Whatch Playing?’ which contains some L.A Noire and Portal 2 spoilers before diving right into events of E3 meaning they get to heap scorn on games they have yet to play.

As far as regular articles such as Co-op Shop, Operation Fluffy Kitten and Seth they should all be back next month. This episode was taking too long as it was!

Enjoy 2.6:

Brake for Frogger – Season 2, Episode 6 – Macho Men

Listening methods are as usual:

- Stream from the small media player above;

- Click this here link (if you have Quicktime or Windows Media Player installed) to stream the podcast;

- Right-click the above link, and click the dialog that says “Save target as…”, “Save link as…” or something similar (dependent on your browser) to download the .mp3 file to your computer in order to use it on your iPods or other personal mp3 players.

- From season one, episode two onwards, we’ve also been on iTunes. You can find us by running a search for ‘Brake For Frogger’ in the iTunes Store, and clicking subscribe…





Gaming Hell!

28 05 2011

Sometimes life takes over and things get a bit slowed down and screwed up – However, remain loyal for Brake for Frogger trudges through the quagmires of life and brings you an episode regardless!

In this month’s episode!:

This month, Brake for Frogger takes a slight detour from their standard fayre and slips into a special format – Gaming Hell! Cam, Tom, Alan and Euan play the wonderful gaming delights of Custer’s Revenge, ET, American Gladiators and Rise of the Robots for your delectation! Enjoy and we’ll be back to our standard format next month…

We hope you enjoy:

Brake for Frogger – Season 2, Episode 5 – Gaming Hell!

Listening methods are as usual:

- Stream from the small media player above;

- Click this here link (if you have Quicktime or Windows Media Player installed) to stream the podcast;

- Right-click the above link, and click the dialog that says “Save target as…”, “Save link as…” or something similar (dependent on your browser) to download the .mp3 file to your computer in order to use it on your iPods or other personal mp3 players.

- From season one, episode two onwards, we’ve also been on iTunes. You can find us by running a search for ‘Brake For Frogger’ in the iTunes Store, and clicking subscribe…





Pre Record Warm Up

23 05 2011

Filmed by Euan just before we got the mics going the other night. The Gaming Hell Special is currently on Cameron’s computer awaiting him to edit the damn thing. It’ll be with you soon.





Giving Up Before You’ve Started

21 05 2011

I walked into my local branch of a national video game retailer to pick up my pre-ordered copy of L.A Noire yesterday. The game features scenes of a dark and gritty nature, the check out featured something along the same lines. After looking in the back cupboard for my copy which, rather wonderfully, was waiting for me with my name on (regular listeners to the podcast will be aware of Geordie Al’s arguement when he pre-ordered Smackdown vs Raw 2011) the patter began.

“We’ve got a few specials on today regarding L.A Noire” spoke the assistant.

“Oh really?” I replied, thinking that I had budgeted for £35 and wasn’t really in the mood to go over it.

“Yes, you can get the game, a guidebook and a pre owned copy of Grand Theft Auto 4 for £56″

I’ve tried GTA4 in the past, it’s never grabbed me. I think I’ve just hit the age now when Rockstar’s earlier crime capers don’t agree with me. I passed on the offer thinking that would be the end of it.

“In which case you can buy the guide book for £9.99 rather than the usual £15′

I made the relevant humming noises and, at this stage, I was entertaining the idea of buying the guide just out of sympathy. I wasn’t quick enough.

“Some of the interrogation scenes can be pretty tricky, this guide can help you through it”

So essentially this assistant had suggested I pay £10 more to make my purchase easier because reading emotional responses might well cause me great difficulty. The barrier went up.

“Are you sure? Because the manager of this shop got the guide and he never usually does, he bought it for this game alone”.

I was quite sure and I thought I’d better ask the obvious question.

“Don’t you think” I ventured “that buying a guide for a game you have yet to play is a little bit much like giving up before you’ve started?”

He shrugged his shoulders. I politely declined his most generous offer. He accepted payment and placed the game into a bag. He wasn’t done yet though.

“Anything else you’d like to pre-order whilst you’re here?”

A fair stand alone question but one that has been tacked onto a list already. The next game I’m truly awaiting would be Deus Ex. I asked if he has a date for that which he then checked.

“August 26th but we don’t have a code for it yet”

I informed him that I’d wait until nearer the time. Then came the classic, his masterstroke, the one he’d been building up to.

“Do you want to pre-order Modern Warfare 3?”

No, I bloody do not want to pre-order MW3. Even if I did it’s six months away from release and it’s just been made painfully obvious that, as far as UK gaming retail goes, they’re putting every egg they ever had on that one Activision shaped basket.  This is also a retail chain that recently began to advertise the fact you could buy pre-paid cards in store with the correct points amount to buy DLC or Arcade games. Downloadable games that can be purchased easily without the need for setting foot in their establishments.  It’s no great shock that games retail is slowly dying on its arse especially when the experience of shopping in these places is usually soulless and sterile.

Not for the first time I reject his kind offer.

“Are you sure? Because we’ve got a code for Modern Warfare 3″

Yes I’m sure you have mate, I’m sure you have.








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